As I approach motherhood I am thrilled, yet terrified at the same time. I am thrilled because this is something that I have always wanted. I can't wait to teach our son things and watch him grow into a young man of integrity, kindness and deep faith (at least I hope he grows into these things). I am terrified because at times I feel so incredibly inadequate.
I love reading blogs from other Moms to see what recipes I can borrow (okay, steal and pass them off as my own..ha ha), but sometimes when I do I find myself so discouraged. I see these Moms using cloth diapers, and making EVERYTHING from scratch, they have gardens and are able to sew. I look at myself and see how I am none of the above things. Even if I learned to sew or used cloth diapers, I don't see either as an enjoyable experience. Then I begin to wonder if I will even be a good Mom since I do not do those things.
In reality I know the truth. Just because you have a green thumb or spend hours in the kitchen concocting some new from-the-earth entree, does not make you a good Mom. I look at my Mom (she had her flaws, but I happen to think she did a pretty good job) and try my best to think what made her so great. What I come up with is love. She loved us. She sacrificed for us. She worked hard.
Tonight as I was preparing dinner I was praying and asking the Lord if he would help mold me into a better Mom for Mason. It began like this, "Lord, would you help me want to make things from scratch? Would you give me a passion for making clothes for my baby boy?" About half way through I realized how absurd I was being and began asking the Lord to make me the best Mom I could be. That I would embrace who I am as a person and accept all of the wonderful ways he has set me apart from others and refine those things about me.
I think this was a much better prayer.
Besides I don't really want to be one the the Jones'.
Candace, you are an amazing woman and will be an amazing mother. As you said yourself, a great mother is not someone who has a green thumb or can sew. Women today are under so much pressure to be superwoman. They are expected to meet the impossible, idealistic bench marks that society suggests will make the perfect woman. They are expected to work a full time job, clean house, cook gourmet food, sew, knit, be apart of the PTA, and be a sex goddess for their husband when they have time alone. Those are not qualities that make a great woman and mother. Teach your child the values you hold true to, spend plenty of time with him, and love him unconditionally. I have absolute faith that he will consider you the greatest mother in the world.
ReplyDeleteCandace I loved reading your posts!!! You are going to be such an amazing mother and I know that you hear God's voice over your life. You can trust your gut and know that the Lord is leading you and guiding you. Even going into motherhood, you won't ever know all of the answers, but you can trust that God will speak to you about it when it's time. I love you very much my dear! I am going to India this next week, but when I get back I would love to get together with you! Love ya,
ReplyDeleteBrittany Archuleta